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Harte, Bret, 1836-1902

"Condensed Novels: New Burlesques"

Bigsby.
"With that he riz up," continued Dan'l, ignoring his sister, "and,
takin' them counterfeit notes from my hand, sez he: 'Them notes
belong to ME now,' sez he, 'and I'm goin' to destroy 'em.' And
with that he walks over to the fire as stiff as a poker, and held
them notes in it until they were burnt clean up."
"Well, but that was honest and straightforward in him!" said Mrs.
Bigsby.
"Um! but it wasn't business--and ye see"-- Dan'l paused and rubbed
his chin.
"Well, go on!" said Mrs. Bigsby impatiently.
"Well, ye see, neither him nor me was very smart in detectin'
counterfeits, or even knowin' 'em, and"--
"Well! For goodness' sake, Dan'l, speak out!"
"Well--THE DUM FOOL BURNT UP THREE GOOD BILLS, and we neither of us
knew it!"

V

The "unexpected" which Dan'l Borem had hinted might characterize
his future conduct was first intimated by his treatment of the
"Widow Cully," an aged and impoverished woman whose property was
heavily mortaged to him. He had curtly summoned her to come to his
office on Christmas Day and settle up. Frightened, hopeless, and
in the face of a snowstorm, the old woman attended, but was
surprised by receiving a "satisfaction piece" in full from the
banker, and a gorgeous Christmas dinner. "All the same," said Mrs.
Bigsby to Lummox, "Dan'l might hev done all this without
frightenin' the poor old critter into a nervous fever, chillin' her
through by makin' her walk two miles through the snow, and keepin'
her on the ragged edge o' despair for two mortal hours! But it's
his humorous way.


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