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MacDonald, George, 1824-1905

"Weighed and Wanting"

Brothers, I suspect, have a good
deal to answer for in the estimation of men by their sisters; their
behavior at home leads them to prize the civilities of other men more
highly than they deserve; brothers, I imagine, have therefore more to do
than they will like to learn, with the making of those inferior men
acceptable to their sisters, whose very presence is to themselves an
annoyance. Women so seldom see a noble style of behavior at home!--so
few are capable of distinguishing between ceremony and courtesy between
familiarity and rudeness--of dismissing ceremony and retaining courtesy,
of using familiarity and banishing rudeness! The nearer persons come to
each other, the greater is the room and the more are the occasions for
courtesy; but just in proportion to their approach the gentleness of
most men diminishes. Some will make the poor defense that it is unmanly
to show one's feelings: it is unmanly, because conceited and cowardly to
hide them, if, indeed, such persons have anything precious to hide.
Other some will say, "Must I weigh my words with my familiar friend as
if I had been but that moment presented to him?" I answer, It were small
labor well spent to see that your coarse-grained evil self, doomed to
perdition, shall not come between your friend and your true, noble,
humble self, fore-ordained to eternal life.


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