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MacDonald, George, 1824-1905

"Weighed and Wanting"

I could not work miracles; I had not the faith necessary to
that, if such is now to be had; but God might be pleased I should heal a
little by the doctor's art. So doing I should do yet better, and learn
how, to spend the money upon humanity itself, repaying to the race what
had been wrongfully taken from its individuals to whom it was impossible
to restore it; and should while so doing at the same time fill up what
was left behind for me of the labours of the Master.
"That is my story. I am now trying to do as I have seen, working
steadily, without haste, with much discouragement, and now and then with
a great gladness and auroral hope. I have this very day got a new idea
that may have in it a true germ!"
"Will you not tell me what it is?" said Hester.
"I don't like talking about things before at least they are begun,"
answered Christopher. "And I have not much hope from money. If it were
not that I have it and cannot help it, and am bound to spend it, I would
not trouble myself about any scheme to which it was necessary. I
sometimes feel as if it was a devil, restrained a little by being
spell-bound in mental discs.


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