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Walpole, Hugh, Sir, 1884-1941

"Fortitude"

"
"But nobody can take me away--nobody--"
The cab jolted along--her hand was on his knee--and every now and again a
lamp lighted her face for him and then dropped it back into darkness.
By the sharp pressure of her hand he knew that she was moved by an
intensity of feeling, swayed now by one of those moods that came to her so
strangely that it seemed that they belonged to another personality.
"Look... Peter. I'm seeing clearly as I think I never have before. I'm
afraid--not because of you--but because of myself. If you knew--" here his
hand came down and found hers--"if you knew how I despise myself, my real
self. I've been spoilt always, always, always. I've always known it. My
real self is ashamed of it. But there's another side of me that comes down
suddenly and hides all that--and then--when that happens--I just want to
get what I want and not to be hurt and ..." she pressed closer against him
and went on in a whisper.
"Peter, I shall always care for you more than any one--always whatever
happens. But think, a time will come--I know it--when you'll have to watch
me, to keep me by you, and even let your work go--everything, just for a
time until I'm safe. I suppose that moment comes to most women in their
married lives. But to me, when it happens, it will be worse than for most
women because I've always had my way.


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