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Warner, Anne, 1869-1913

"Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. Lathrop"

I
never was foolish like some folks, 'n' you know _that_ 's well 's I
do, Mrs. Lathrop, but still you know, too, 's it's never nothin' but
safe to keep away fr'm the under side o' ladders 'n' the number
thirteen. I 've heard Gran'ma Mullins tell a dozen times 's how 'f she
'd never 'a' gone picnickin' on twice thirteen--that's twenty-six--o'
July she 'd never 'a' met her husband, 'n' might o' married Deacon
White. They was both after her, 'n' she picked out the wrong one, 'n'
first he went to the war 'n' then he went to the dogs, 'n' now there
she is in a four-room cottage 'n' Deacon White's wife orderin' a
patent ice-box out o' a catalogue 'n' him never sayin' a word. She c'd
'a' took a world o' comfort with his daughter, 'n' I don't believe she
takes none to speak o' with Hiram, 'n' anyway I was clean put out with
the minister afore I even see him, f'r I can't abide that way he 'n'
his wife's both got o' talkin' 'n' talkin' 'n' never gettin' aroun' to
sayin' what they set out to. I like folks 's is right quick 'n' sharp,
'n' these roamin', meanderin' kind o' everlastin' talkers ain't my
idea a _tall_. 'N' I 'm free to confess 's I did get some tempered
to-day standin' there listenin' to what did n't interest me no more 'n
a pussy-willow, 'n' me wild to be rootin' up garret all the time.


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