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Warner, Anne, 1869-1913

"Susan Clegg and Her Friend Mrs. Lathrop"

Kimball over-persuaded me into buyin' one o'
them patent carpet-beaters, it ain't no manner o' service to me. Not
's I ain't sure 't I don't really prefer the cane to the patent, but I
've paid for the new thing 'n' I ain't goin' to go to work to make
myself feel 's I 've wasted my money. The carpet-beater ain 't up to
Mr. Kimball's talk by long odds, 'n' so far from turnin' into a
egg-beater in the wink of your eye like he promised, you 've got to
grip it fast between your knees 'n' get your back ag'in a flour-bin to
turn it into anythin' a _tall_. 'N' then when it does turn, so far
from bein' a joy it lets up so quick 't you find yourself most
anywhere. Mrs. Craig was gettin' her brace ag'in the hen-house, 'n'
when it let up she sat down so sudden 't she smashed the henhouse 'n'
a whole settin' o' duck-eggs not to speak of the hen between. Mrs.
Macy says 't seein' 's she has more eggs 'n carpets, she jus' beats
her carpets with the egg end 'n' don't fuss to change ever. Mrs.
Fisher says what puts her out is 't the ring 's you slide up to close
the whisks for killin' flies won't stay up, 'n the flies don't get
killed but jus' get hit so they buzz without stoppin' from then on.


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