Everything was in restaurant French, and he
didn't like it.
"Here, waiter," he said, sternly, "there's nothing on this I want."
"Ain't there nothin' else you would like for dinner, sir?" inquired
the waiter, politely.
"Have you got any sine qua non?"
The waiter gasped.
"No, sir," he replied.
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11
"Got any bon mots?"
"N-- no, sir."
"Got any semper idem?"
"No, sir, we hain't."
"Got any jeu d'esprits?"
"No, sir; not a one."
"Got any tempus fugit?"
"I reckon not, sir."
"Got any soiree dansante?"
"No, sir."
The waiter was edging off.
"Got any sine die?"
"We hain't, sir."
"Got any e pluribus unum?"
The waiter's face showed some sign of intelligence.
"Seems like I heard ob dat, sir," and he rushed out to the kitchen,
only to return empty-handed.
"We ain't got none, sir," he said, in a tone of disappointment.
"Got any mal de mer?"
"N-- no, sir."
The waiter was going to pieces fast.
The gentleman from the West, was as serene as a May morning.
"Got any vice versa?" he inquired again.
The waiter could only shake his head.
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12
"No? Well, maybe you've got some bacon and cabbage, and a corn
dodger?"
"'Deed we have, sir," exclaimed the waiter, in a tone of the utmost
relief, and he fairly flew out to the kitchen.
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