Of course they ought--what else do we have Leap Year for? Take my own
case. I am genuinely in love with ETHEL TRINKERTON, who has just been
staying with us in the country for three weeks. She has paid me every
kind of attention. In our neighbourhood, if A. carries B.'s umbrella,
where A. and B. are of opposite sexes, it is regarded as an informal,
though perfectly definite way of announcing an approaching engagement.
She knew the custom, and _carried mine on no less than three
occasions_. (It is entirely beside the point that it rained heavily
each time.) Yet she left us yesterday without an approach to a
proposal. She's fair enough herself, but is her conduct? It isn't
as if I hadn't given her enough chances. It cost me a small fortune
to bribe my small brother to keep away; and, time after time, I've
consented to sit alone with her in the summer-house. It isn't as
if she couldn't afford it. They tell me she has at least a thousand
a-year in her own right (whatever that may be), which would do
capitally. I happen to be penniless myself; but, as I heard her say,
her idea of marriage was the union of "soul to soul," my want of a few
paltry pence could hardly matter. It's particularly humiliating for
me, as, after the repeated umbrella-carrying, everybody here thinks
it's all settled. That, _Mr. Punch_, is the reason why, at any rate,
_one_ young man doesn't marry.
Yours, thoroughly aggrieved, BERTIE COOL-CHEEK,
_Pickleton-in-the-Marsh, Kent_.
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