I found these were notes written out in a blank book,
which he had had in hand ever since his Confirmation--his logbook as
he called it; but he would not hear of their being mentioned even to
Emily, and only consented to hunt up the books on condition I would
not bring him forward as the finder. It was of no use to urge that
it was a deprivation to us all that he should not aid us with his
more thorough knowledge and deeper thought. 'He could not do so,'
he said, in a quiet decisive manner; 'it was enough for him to watch
and listen to Miss Fordyce, when she could forget his presence.'
She often did forget it in her eagerness. She was by nature one of
the most ardent beings that I ever saw, yet with enthusiasm kept in
check by the self-control inculcated as a primary duty. It would
kindle in those wonderful light brown eyes, glow in the clear
delicate cheek, quiver in the voice even when the words were only
half adequate to the feeling. She was not what is now called
gushing. Oh, no! not in the least! She was too reticent and had
too much dignity for anything of the kind. Emily had always been
reckoned as our romantic young lady, and teased accordingly, but her
enthusiasm beside Ellen's was
'As moonlight is to sunlight, as water is to wine,' -
a mere reflection of the tone of the period, compared with a real
element in the character.
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