The effect was one of his most overwhelming fits of laughter. 'Poor
old Bill! To think of his being accused of gallanting about with
barmaids!' (an explosion at every pause) 'and revelling with
officers! Poor old Bill! it was as bad as Malvolio himself.'
When, indignant at the mirth excited by what had nearly cost us so
dear, I observed that these items had nearly turned the scale
against our brother, Griff demanded how we could have been such
idiots as not to have written to him; I might at least have had the
sense to do so. As to its doing him harm at Hillside, Parson Frank
was no fool, and knew what men were made of! Griff would have taken
the risk, come at once, and thrust the story down the fellow's
throat (as indeed he would have done). The idea of Betsy putting up
with a pious young man like Bill, whose only flame had ever been old
Miss Newton! And he roared again at the incongruous pair. 'Oh,
wasn't she married after all, the hussy? She always had a dozen
beaux, and professed to be on the point of putting up her banns; so
if the earrings were not a wedding present, they might have been,
ought to have been, and would be some time or other.'
Then he patted me, and declared there was no occasion for my
disgusted looks, for no one knew better than himself that he had the
best brace of brothers in existence, wanting in nothing but common
sense and knowledge of the world.
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