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Brisbane, Arthur, 1864-1936

"Editorials from the Hearst Newspapers"


The kitten had disobeyed orders and laws. It had crawled away
from the box.
Another kitten, with one eye now partly open, got thoughtful and
said: "There is no such thing as Man. Or, if there is such a
thing, he is a monster to let little Willie get torn up. Don't
talk to me about Kitten Wiliie being a sufferer through his own
fault. I say there is no such thing as a Man. We kittens are
bosses of the universe and must do our own fighting."
That speaker was the Ingersoll kitten.
A kitten of higher mental class opened both eyes just a little
and actually made observations.
Said he: "I am a scientist. I discover that we owe nothing to
Man's kindness. We are governed by laws. This box is on wheels.
It rolls around in the sunlight of its own volition. True, I do
not know who shoves it, but no Man could do it. Further, I
discover that there is such a thing as the law of 'milk-passing.'
Milk comes this way just so often. Its coming is nature's law.
It has always come. It always will come. Good-night, I am going
to sleep. But don't talk to me any more about a kind Man. It's
all law, and I am certainly great, for I saw the laws first."
That was the Newton kitten, but he lacked the Newton faith.
We have no time to tell what the Darwin kitten said.


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