It is a long time since I was blind--full twenty
years! Nothing concerning you has escaped my knowledge and
observation since the cursed day when I discovered the depths of
your disgrace and infamy--since the terrible evening when I heard
you plan to murder me in cold blood. You had grown accustomed to
freedom of action; while I, who had gone off with the first gold-
seekers, was braving a thousand dangers in California, so as to
win wealth and luxury for you more quickly. Fool that I was! No
task seemed too hard or too distasteful when I thought of you--and
I was always thinking of you. My mind was at peace--I had perfect
faith in you. We had a daughter; and if a fear or a doubt entered
my mind, I told myself that the sight of her cradle would drive
all evil thoughts from your heart. The adultery of a childless
wife may be forgiven or explained; but that of a mother, never!
Fool! idiot! that I was! With what joyous pride, on my return
after an absence of eighteen months, I showed you the treasures I
had brought back with me! I had two hundred thousand francs! I
said to you as I embraced you: 'It is yours, my well-beloved, the
source of all my happiness!' But you did not care for me--I
wearied you! You loved another! And while you were deceiving me
with your caresses, you were, with fiendish skill, preparing a
conspiracy which, if it had succeeded, would have resulted in my
death! I should consider myself amply revenged if I could make you
suffer for a single day all the torments that I endured for long
months.
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