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Butler, Samuel, 1835-1902

"The Way of All Flesh"

He might be happier if he had been more fortunate
in childhood, but, for aught he knows, if he had, something else might
have happened which might have killed him long ago. If I had to be born
again I would be born at Battersby of the same father and mother as
before, and I would not alter anything that has ever happened to me."
The most amusing incident that I can remember about his childhood was
that when he was about seven years old he told me he was going to have a
natural child. I asked him his reasons for thinking this, and he
explained that papa and mamma had always told him that nobody had
children till they were married, and as long as he had believed this of
course he had had no idea of having a child, till he was grown up; but
not long since he had been reading Mrs Markham's history of England and
had come upon the words "John of Gaunt had several natural children" he
had therefore asked his governess what a natural child was--were not all
children natural?
"Oh, my dear," said she, "a natural child is a child a person has before
he is married." On this it seemed to follow logically that if John of
Gaunt had had children before he was married, he, Ernest Pontifex, might
have them also, and he would be obliged to me if I would tell him what he
had better do under the circumstances.


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