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Butler, Samuel, 1835-1902

"The Way of All Flesh"

This unparalleled list of punishments inflicted on the first day
of the half year, and intended to last till the ensuing Christmas
holidays, was not connected with any specified offence. It required no
great penetration therefore, on the part of the boys to connect Ernest
with the putting Mrs Cross's and Mrs Jones's shops out of bounds.
Great indeed was the indignation about Mrs Cross who, it was known,
remembered Dr Skinner himself as a small boy only just got into jackets,
and had doubtless let him have many a sausage and mashed potatoes upon
deferred payment. The head boys assembled in conclave to consider what
steps should be taken, but hardly had they done so before Ernest knocked
timidly at the head-room door and took the bull by the horns by
explaining the facts as far as he could bring himself to do so. He made
a clean breast of everything except about the school list and the remarks
he had made about each boy's character. This infamy was more than he
could own to, and he kept his counsel concerning it. Fortunately he was
safe in doing so, for Dr Skinner, pedant and more than pedant though he
was, had still just sense enough to turn on Theobald in the matter of the
school list.


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