" He
said nothing, but he woke up once for all to the fact that he had made a
mistake in marrying. A touch had again come which had revealed him to
himself.
He went upstairs to the disused citadel, flung himself into the
arm-chair, and covered his face with his hands.
He still did not know that his wife drank, but he could no longer trust
her, and his dream of happiness was over. He had been saved from the
Church--so as by fire, but still saved--but what could now save him from
his marriage? He had made the same mistake that he had made in wedding
himself to the Church, but with a hundred times worse results. He had
learnt nothing by experience: he was an Esau--one of those wretches whose
hearts the Lord had hardened, who, having ears, heard not, having eyes
saw not, and who should find no place for repentance though they sought
it even with tears.
Yet had he not on the whole tried to find out what the ways of God were,
and to follow them in singleness of heart? To a certain extent, yes; but
he had not been thorough; he had not given up all for God. He knew that
very well he had done little as compared with what he might and ought to
have done, but still if he was being punished for this, God was a hard
taskmaster, and one, too, who was continually pouncing out upon his
unhappy creatures from ambuscades.
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