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Behn, Aphra

"The Rover"

Faith, Ariadne, because I
know nothing of the Design in hand; had I had civil warning, thou
shouldst have had as pretty smart Speeches from me, as any Coxcomb
Lover of 'em all could have made thee. Aria. I shall never marry like
a Jew in my own Tribe; I'll rather be possest by honest old doating
Age, than by saucy conceited Youth, whose Inconstancy never leaves a
Woman safe or quiet. Beau. You know the Proverb of the half Loaf,
Ariadne; a Husband that will deal thee some Love is better than one
who can give thee none: you would have a blessed time on't with old
Father Carlo. Aria. No matter, a Woman may with some lawful excuse
cuckold him, and 'twould be scarce a Sin. Beau. Not so much as lying
with him, whose reverend Age wou'd make it look like Incest. Aria. But
to marry thee- would be a Tyranny from whence there's no Appeal: A
drinking whoring Husband! 'tis the Devil- Beau. You are deceiv'd, if
you think Don Carlo more chaste than I; only duller, and more a Miser,
one that fears his Flesh more, and loves his Money better.- Then to be
condemn'd to lie with him- oh, who would not rejoice to meet a
Woollen-Waistcoat, and knit Night-Cap without a Lining, a Shirt so
nasty, a cleanly Ghost would not appear in't at the latter Day? then
the compound of nasty Smells about him, stinking Breath, Mustachoes
stuft with villainous snush, Tobacco, and hollow Teeth: thus prepar'd
for Delight, you meet in Bed, where you may lie and sigh whole Nights
away, he snores it out till Morning, and then rises to his sordid
business.


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