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Begbie, Harold, 1871-1929

"The Bed-Book of Happiness"

The vergers have
had Water-on-the-Brain, but Messrs. Bishop and Sons from London have
assured Mr. Luard Selby that there is no organic disease.
I have regarded it as my duty, in anticipation of your lordship's visit
to North Wales on Wednesday next, to see that all due preparations are
made to receive you. I have been to ----, and found that the new chancel
is making satisfactory progress. The new altar frontal is beautiful, the
tea and bread and butter at the Rectory are excellent, the roses in the
garden are making extra efforts, the school-mistress is in good health,
the mountains are drawn up in saluting order, the mines are smoking
peacefully, there will be cold lamb at the luncheon, weather permitting,
and all frivolous persons will be banished to England, including yours
ever.

THE ANSWER OF LADY CLARA VERE DE VERE
[Sidenote: _Henry S. Leigh_]
The Lady Clara V. de V.
Presents her very best regards
To that misguided Alfred T.
(With one of her enamell'd cards).
Though uninclin'd to give offence,
The Lady Clara begs to hint
That Master Alfred's common sense
Deserts him utterly in print.
The Lady Clara can but say,
That always from the very first
She snubb'd in her decisive way
The hopes that silly Alfred nurs'd.
The fondest words that ever fell
From Lady Clara, when they met,
Were, "How d'ye do? I hope you're well!"
Or else, "The weather's very wet.


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