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Begbie, Harold, 1871-1929

"The Bed-Book of Happiness"


If you can come so much better but send your sons by all means.
With respects,
I am,
Yours sincerely.

A BABU LETTER
SIR,
Last night while perambulating city in search of evenings zephyrs I came
to learn of the demise of Babu ... of your Honour's office who leaves
widow and sorrowing children who will feed their bellies the Devil knows
how. I submit myself to your Honour's approval and patronage for the
vacancy. For my qualifications I am damnably well up in precise-writing
(Note. He means precis writing) and am much addicted to the swearing of
European oaths. I am no believing old and rotten superstition of ancient
forefathers, but am iconoclast smashing idols to detriment of damn
scoundrels. If I should be successful for the post, I and my wife and
children will fall on our bended knees, as in duty bound, and offer up
prayers for your Honour, your Honour's lady, and your posthumous
children to follow up hereafter.
Your most obedient servant.

"LOVE, WITH A WITNESS!"
[Sidenote: _Hood_]
He has shaved off his whiskers and blackened his brows,
Wears a patch and a wig of false hair--
But it's him--oh, it's him !--we exchanged lover's vows
When I lived up in Cavendish Square.
He had beautiful eyes, and his lips were the same,
And his voice was as soft as a flute--
Like a Lord or a Marquis he looked, when he came
To make love in his master's best suit.


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