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Begbie, Harold, 1871-1929

"The Bed-Book of Happiness"


George's Church; and the bishop gave us a beautiful address he did, and
I felt werry much better when he laid his hands on my head, and after
he give us the blessin'. If my hands wasn't so black, I'd show you the
cards and things. I've kep 'em ever since--yuss. I've still got 'The Vow
Performed,' or whatever it is called. The wicked woman downstairs, she
hasn't taken _that_. Oh, a wicked woman she is, a _very_ wicked woman;
but I'll have the law on her. Ah!"
* * * * *
I ask her if--what with the cat and the woman downstairs, and all her
relatives in heaven--she does not sometimes sigh for the next world.
"I'll be ready when my time comes," she replies confidently, and with
rather a sly grin, "but I'm werry well content to stay where I am till
I'm called, I am. I don't complain of nothink, I don't, excep' this
beastly winder-pane which lets the draught in somethink cruel, it does,
enough it is to blow me out of bed; and that awful devil of a woman
downstairs; and the crossin' at the Elephant and Castle, which tries my
nerves dreadful it does, and oughter be put a stop to, for it ain't safe
for nobody, let alone a cripple. Then there's the children," she cries
fiercely. "Oh, they are dreadful! You never heard sich language.
Foul-mouthed!--oh, it's awful; I never did in all my life hear sich
disgustin' language.


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