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Begbie, Harold, 1871-1929

"The Bed-Book of Happiness"

He indulged in the wildest gesticulations, and then, as if in
despair, drew a pistol from his pocket. The conductor was called upon by
acclamation to interfere, and Vivier was on the point of being disarmed
when suddenly he broke the pistol in two, handed half to the conductor
and began to eat the other half himself. It was made of chocolate!
Vivier could not bear to see people in a hurry. According to him, there
was nothing in life worth hurrying for; and living on the Boulevard just
opposite the Rue Vivienne, he was much annoyed at seeing so many persons
hastening, towards six o'clock, to the post office on the Place de la
Bourse. He determined to pay them out, and for that purpose bought a
calf, which he took up to his apartments at night and exhibited the
next afternoon at a few minutes before six o'clock, in the balcony of
his second floor. In spite of their eagerness to catch the post, many
persons could not help stopping to look at the calf. Soon a crowd
collected, and messengers stayed their steps in order to gaze at the
unwonted apparition. Six o'clock struck, and soon after a number of men
who had missed the post returned in an irritated condition, and,
stopping before Vivier's house, shook their fists at him. Vivier went
down to them, and asked the meaning of this insolence.


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