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Kipling, Rudyard, 1865-1936

"From Mine Own People"

Looks at
sleeper, and shakes his head murmuring "Poor Gaddy." Performs violent fantasia
with hair-brushes on chairback.
Capt. M. Wake up, my sleeping beauty! (Roars.)
"Uprouse ye, then, my merry merry men!
It is our opening day!
It is our opening da-ay!"
Gaddy, the little dicky-birds have been billing and cooing for ever so long;
and I'm here!
Capt. G. (Sitting up and yawning.) "Mornin". This is awf'ly good of you, old
fellow. Most awf'ly good of you. "Don't know what I should do without you. 'Pon
my soul, I don't. 'Haven't slept a wink all night.
Capt. M. I didn't get in till half-past eleven. 'Had a look at you then, and
you seemed to be sleeping as soundly as a condemned criminal.
Capt. G. Jack, if you want to make those disgustingly worn-out jokes, you'd
better go away. (With portentous gravity.) It's the happiest day in my life.
Capt. M. (Chuckling grimly.) Not by a very long chalk, my son. You're going
through some of the most refined torture you've ever known. But be calm. I am
with you. 'Shun! Dress!
Capt. G. Eh! Wha-at?
Capt. M. Do you suppose that you are your own master for the next twelve hours?
If you do, of course--(Makes for the door.)
Capt. G. No! For Goodness" sake, old man, don't do that! You'll see me through,
won't you? I've been mugging up that beastly drill, and can't remember a line
of it.


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