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Kipling, Rudyard, 1865-1936

"From Mine Own People"

G. Would you like to see the Padre?
VOICE. Why should I? He'd tell me that I am going to heaven; and that wouldn't
be true, because you are here. Do you recollect when he upset the cream-ice all
over his trousers at the Gassers' tennis?
Capt. G. Yes, dear.
VOICE. I often wondered whether he got another pair of trousers; but then his
are so shiny all over that you really couldn't tell unless you were told. Let's
call him in and ask.
Capt. G. (Gravely.) No. I don't think he'd like that. Your head comfy,
Sweetheart?
VOICE. (Faintly with a sigh of contentment.) Yeth! Gracious, Pip, when did you
shave last? Your chin's worse than the barrel of a musical box.--No, don't lift
it up. I like it. (A pause.) You said you've never cried at all. You're crying
all over my cheek.
Capt. G. I-I-I can't help it, dear.
VOICE. How funny! I couldn't cry now to save my life. (G. shivers.) I want to
sing.
Capt. G. Won't it tire you? 'Better not, perhaps.
VOICE. Why? I won't be bothered about. (Begins in a hoarse quaver)
"Minnie bakes oaten cake, Minnie brews ale,
All because her Johnnie's coming home from the sea." (That's parade, Pip.)
"And she grows red as a rose, who was so pale;
And 'Are you sure the church-clock goes?' says she.


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