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Kipling, Rudyard, 1865-1936

"From Mine Own People"

I said that through seeing his auspicious countenance the mists
of the night had turned into sunshine, and that by reason of his beneficent
sheep his good deeds would be remembered by the gods. He said that since I had
set my magnificent foot in his kingdom the crops would probably yield seventy
per cent more than the average. I said that the fame of the king had reached to
the four corners of the earth, and that the nations gnashed their teeth when
they heard daily of the glory of his realm and the wisdom of his moon-like
prime minister and lotus-eyed director-general of public education.
Then we sat down on clean white cushions, and I was at the king's right hand.
Three minutes later he was telling me that the condition of the maize crop was
something disgraceful, and that the railway companies would not pay him enough
for his timber. The talk shifted to and fro with the bottles. We discussed very
many quaint things, and the king became confidential on the subject of
government generally. Most of all he dwelt on the shortcomings of one of his
subjects, who, from what I could gather, had been paralyzing the executive.
"In the old days," said the king, "I could have ordered the elephant yonder to
trample him to death.


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