That bottle of said wine was emptied
completely, which is proven by your marshal, who, after the orgy in
our leading hotel, did approach a waiter of said hotel and ask for
a taste of said wine, but upon investigation the bottle was found
to be entirely empty.
The aforesaid bottle contained one whole quart of an intoxicating
beverage and was distributed among three people. Therefore, Judge,
Your Honor, the prisoners must have been intoxicated and therefore
disorderly. Your Honor, the prosecution rests its case.
Judge--Prisoners, step to the bar. You are charged with, etc., ad
lib. What have you to say before sentence is passed upon you?
Prisoners--Not a blamed word.
Judge--I find the prisoners guilty and sentence them to pay a fine
of $50, or ten days in the city prison.
Prisoners--Gee, you must be going to build a new courthouse.
Judge--Five dollars for kidding the court.
"I knew those fellows couldn't stand the strain of the $55 fine, so,
turning my back in maidenly modesty to the court, I dug down in the
lisle-thread bank and came up with a hundred dollar bill, the first one
ever seen in Emporia. I tossed it carelessly on the desk, remarking,
'Take it out of that.' You could have knocked the court's eyes off with
a club. I don't think he ever saw that much money in one group before in
his life. The clerk of the court grabbed the fresh-air fund and did a
rubber into the family safe for the change.
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