"I may have overestimated my ability some, for I had never been on
skates before in my life, but I'm no piker and I follow that old
principle of willing to try anything once, so when it came time I let
the boy put the skates on without a murmur, and was assisted to the ice
by about six or eight eager hands. Say, I looked out at the gang gliding
about, gave the signal to let go the ropes and took the fatal step.
Curtain. Say, I went round so fast both skates clinched in my marcel
wave. Would you believe it, there wasn't hardly any one in sight when I
started falling, but before I got through the police had to move the
crowd on. The only thing I could do gracefully was to throw a faint. I
turned one loose until somebody tried to force a glass between my teeth
and then I came to, but it was only water, so I had a relapse. Then a
nice gent kicked in with a flask and I came to. Maybe you think those
artful kidders didn't hand it to me. Anybody but a lady would have lost
her temper and cursed them. But I told them where to get off, and don't
you forget it, but I used no language that would have led people to
think I was anything but what I should be. After that I managed to skate
around a little, but let me tell you, that night I got down on the floor
to take my shoes off all right, but it took Estelle--that's my maid--and
a derrick to get me up again. Say, it's getting late and I must be
going. You know Mabel is now a bride again, and her little husband has
been staying down at the club instead of loitering about the flat, so
the other night when he knocked on the door to get in, Mabel said, 'Is
that you, Charles?' And now she can't get him out of the house nights.
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