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McGaffey, Kenneth

"The Sorrows of a Show Girl"

Ah! what? Bing! What was that? A puncture! My! For
goodness sake, how long will we be bogged down. Oh, we can wait that
long, can't we, dears? Pipe the yokel. Shall I hand him a game of
chatter? No? Oh, very well.
"Let's have a picnic. Wilbur, get on the job and skid out the liquids.
Alla, you may bring out what is left of the crackers. If that woman
hasn't paraded over them biscuits until there isn't a piece there big
enough to make a nice comfortable mouthful for a young flea.
"Throw 'em away, we don't want to overload our stomachs anyhow. Can you
surpass that for a man. Here we've come all these weary miles carefully
nursing these bottles to our bosoms and then that excuse there has the
crust to speak up and say, 'I forgot the corkscrew.' Can you beat it?
Wilbur, you just get on the job and pull them out with your teeth. Get
away, you big standup and fall down, I'll show you how to get them out.
What do you think us fair sex wear hat pins for, hey, shover? Want some
of this jig juice for your tire? Right-o! Ain't I the English scamp? Got
her fixed all right? Climb in, folks, and we will journey homeward, for
I am beginning to feel thirsty and you certainly don't get the same
treatment here that you do in town. Sadie, now that the crackers are
gone I wish you would please remember that that is my foot. Say, you can
never learn some of these dolls nothing. Nothing personal, my dear,
though your hair is light.


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