He's talking about taking a trip to Europe. Such a
chance. What license have we in that neck of woods? I told him to take a
ride over the Williamsburg bridge and that would give him all the Europe
he wanted.
"He wants to go over there and bring back a couple of big vaudeville
acts and make a bunch of money. Rats, I tell him, rats. What does he
know about vaudeville acts? Some of these wops that go across never get
it out of their systems. All you hear is, 'When I was in London.'
"I remember the time I met Ted Marks in Maxim's. Maxim's is in Paris,
you know, my dear. It gives me a sharp, stinging pain. Those burgs ain't
such a much. You can get just as good things to drink right here in New
York, so, I says to him, 'what's the use of making a fool trip like
that?' But he's noodly on the subject and spends half of his spare time
reading 'Short Trips in the Old World,' 'Life in the Latin Quarter,'
'Fifty-seven Ways to Avoid Tipping' and all that kind of junk. A trip to
Asbury Park would satisfy me just as well.
"Alia McSweeney's Judge gave her a new automobile the other day and we
had a match race on the Merrick Road. Honest, the way my car left her
tied to the post was a crime. We both stopped drinking three hours
before the race commenced, so that our nerves would be in good
condition."
"She may be a good chorus girl, but she certainly is a bum racer. I beat
her by two dogs, six chickens and a lamp post.
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